A leisurely drive in stormy weather

We have lived in only three places in our lives: Hickory, North Carolina; Chapel Hill, North Carolina; and Kingsport. This is our 51st year in Kingsport. All three locations are in the South's hurricane zone. This last hurricane, Isaias, stumped Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida. He couldn't pronounce the name and chose to call it Isaiah. The name was a challenge concocted by the World Meteorological Organization, which, according to USA Today, utilizes English, French and Spanish names "to reflect the geographical coverage of Atlantic and Caribbean storms." The article, authored by Samon Shafiq and Mike Snider, also revealed that the names of both Isaias and Isaiah are derivatives of the Hebrew name Yeshayahu, which translates to "Yahweh is salvation." Isias is a Spanish and Portuguese word. God only knows what the backlash from Arabic-speaking societies may have been. Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel could have been tongue-tied. It is noted Cantore called in to ESPN programs during the hurricane's early hours. Radio personality John Boy, who had a beach house on the coast of North Carolina, once declared that Cantore is the most hated man in America because he brings the storms in when he arrives. Cantore might have been in one of the huge number of cars that evacuated from the Gulf and Atlantic beaches last weekend. We were in Litchfield Beach, south of Myrtle Beach, having arrived on Monday evening. This was not the first time we have been in the wrong place at the wrong time; however, we may have overreacted. The Georgetown County, South Carolina, weather forecast announced we could receive some rain and tornados from Isaias, but the major landfall issues would be on the Gulf Coast. There was an ocean storm off South Carolina and Georgia that could come into play and affect Litchfield Beach. Well, the fact is that Litchfield and the rest of Georgetown County did get a good deal of rain and tornado warnings. So, Thursday night I came up with the brilliant idea: We would leave on Friday morning and have a leisurely drive back to Kingsport. Leisurely my butt! We pulled out at 10 a.m. and traveled well-known back roads and some interstate until we got to Columbia, South Carolina. Backed-up, bumper-to-bumper, we joined the masses on Interstate 26 West south of South Carolina's capital and cruised at 5 mph, observing fender benders, and generally not enjoying our newly found closest friends during a period of time of well over an hour. Those ADHD drivers who attempted to go from one lane to another were greeted with the old Dandy Don Meredith middle finger salute. But not from me. Unlike my alleged irritated demeanor, I chose to act cool and calm except for some verbal exchanges prompted primarily by drivers whose license plates identified them as those from above the Mason-Dixon line. Finally, we got through Columbia and past Chapin and were able to get off I-26 at a BP station. There were a number of vehicles parked there. As usual, the bathrooms were nasty and children were running around the gas pumps. It turned out those children were from a vehicle with a Sullivan County tag on it. Spartanburg was a bumper-to-bumper affair, but not as bad as Columbia. It was 5 mph up Saluda Mountain on I-26 West, continuing through Hendersonville, North Carolina. And then we were approaching the traffic capital of the Smokies — Asheville. It didn't help any that Asheville is finally doing roadwork on a new bridge over the French Board River, about 40 years too late. We figured out a shortcut and got through in a reasonable period of time. My butt hurt. My nerves were shot from the close-order driving. It took us nine hours. Good bye, Isaias or whatever. Bill Bovender practices law in Kingsport. You can email him at bovender@hsdlaw.com.