Talk turkey, not politics

In case you haven't noticed, the election is over. Let me re-phrase that. THE ELECTION IS OVER! Sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice. As one who delivers the news, I am politicked out. I guess I should say, "Thank you, dear candidates, for buying all those commercials which help fund my weekly paycheck!" But in reality, I'm saying, "Thank God we don't have to watch them anymore." Of course, we still have political leftovers. Some races are still being contested, and Alaska may still be counting votes on Easter. Among my circle of friends, some are happy with the results, and others are sad. The cable anger-tainment channels are in full outrage mode, because their viewers need it to keep their hearts pumping. I'm seeing Facebook posts from rural Georgia folks who pledge to sell their homes and leave the state because of the governor's race results. I guess they must have really, really liked Rick Jackson. I grew up in Alabama, so I'm no newcomer to negative campaigns. George Wallace lost his first statewide election, and soon figured out that his opponent out-nastied him. He vowed to never let that happen again, and he never lost another statewide election. In fact, late in life, he apologized for his past behavior, and those he had offended the most helped him win another race or two. As ugly as those campaigns were, they don't hold a candle to what we've seen lately. Whatever civility we might have developed in the post-Wallace era has been replaced by profanity, insults and name-calling. Some folks blame social media, and it certainly hasn't helped. But it merely provides a bullhorn for the hatred that was once limited to small gatherings. Soon, many a Thanksgiving table will host a blessing, a turkey, pumpkin pie, and a political debate. The recipe is simple. The more visitors you have, the less likely it will be that all of them share the same political beliefs. Since there's no middle ground, all it takes is for one person to say, "Trump is the best president ever," or "Trump is the biggest crook ever," and suddenly Uncle Bernard is flinging candied yams at Cousin Dora Mae. Just before the election, President Trump spoke at a rally in Dalton, Georgia. I was among the TV newscasters who covered the event. At the end of the broadcast, I checked my messages. Several folks complimented our news coverage, but others were not pleased. Here are excerpts from two messages I received shortly after our coverage ended. One said, "Your station is full of —-. How dare you tie up valuable air time by publicizing this awful man." Another said, "I'm so glad your station covered this historic event. The only downside was your station's attitude. You are a small town CNN." Also, some viewers complained, "You're only covering Trump's speech because he's a Republican." The truth is, ever since we have been able to do remote broadcasts, we've covered every presidential speech in our viewing area, Republicans and Democrats alike. Trust me, if a Libertarian or a Green Party candidate is our next president, TV stations will cover the speech. It reminded me why I generally keep these columns free of politics. Ironically, just days after publishing my column about using YouTube videos to learn how to unclog a toilet, a newspaper editor thanked me for the diversion. He wrote, "I'm glad you're writing about stuff other than politics. These days, it works everyone into a frenzy." In fact, when I speak to church groups and clubs about my books, I always start by saying, "You're about to hear a TV reporter speak for 20 minutes, without ever mentioning Trump, Biden, Obama or Mitch McConnell." The audience always applauds, and once, I even got a standing ovation. Although that may have been because I was finally finished, and they wanted to get a head start to the parking lot. So at your upcoming holiday gatherings, do what I do. As soon as a friend or relative expresses an opinion that differs from your own, kindly excuse yourself. Just say the toilet is clogged, and thanks to my recent column, you can fix it yourself. David Carroll is a Chattanooga news anchor, and his latest book is "I Won't Be Your Escape Goat," available from his website, ChattanoogaRadioTV.com. You may contact him at 900 Whitehall Road, Chattanooga, TN 37405, or at RadioTV2020@yahoo.com.